You know the drill: Women sometimes struggle feeling themselves when it comes to sex, while dudes are 100 percent satisfied as soon as their P hits a V. But actually, that super old, kind of lame assumption might not be that accurate.
1. Initiate sex
You don’t have to jump him when he walks in the door, but casually putting his hand high up on your thigh while you’re watching TV or making the first move when you’re undressing for bed are gestures that level the playing field sexually and take some of the pressure off, says Lebowitz. After all, who doesn’t like feeling desired?
2. Wear the dress
It frustrates guys that you’ll primp for your girls but kick back in sweats with him, says Lawrence Siegel, clinical sexologist with the Sage Institute for Family Development in Boca Raton, Florida. Dressing up occasionally shows you still want to impress him—which reassures him and makes him feel more masculine (read: sexual).
3. Tell him what you like
Here’s a paradox: The more settled you feel in a relationship, the harder it can be to talk about sex, notes Lebowitz. That’s because the stakes are higher. You don’t want to hurt your guy’s feelings or make him feel inadequate. So spin it positively—tell him what felt good, what move you want to try next. It’s all kindling for more sparks in bed.